whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
