I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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