the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
