pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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