We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i out mim tonsoeep
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
