i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize