Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
