How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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