Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
