the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
