Your mouth is God's brothel.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
