real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
