And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
