People in love make me want to vomit
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
