i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
