I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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