Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
