do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
