Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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