Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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