so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
