never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
