Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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