i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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