Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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