Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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