tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
