Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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