My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
