My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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