I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
