I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
