Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
