There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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