i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
