At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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