There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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