D3 body, D1 cock
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
