Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
