Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
This house was built for laser tag.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
