i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
