oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
