I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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