I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
