I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize