Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
