You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
