But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
