12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
