Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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