it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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