...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
