We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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