If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I touched a dick in church today
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
