I will die if light touches me.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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