His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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