seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
no you cant smoke seaweed
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize