I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
