I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize
