I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Blow job season was short but glorious.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
