Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i out mim tonsoeep
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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