So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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