I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
