we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
