you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
